Feel the Power of the Drivermaniacs

Now, on the surface, this is one of the least exciting strips in the past few weeks. But underneath?


Gloria: "Jesus H. Christ. If you guys want to have the exact same conversation we had last week, go right ahead, but I will not be around to provide cutaways to my sexiness."

Sam: "Fine by us. Maybe you'd prefer to put that community college degree to work at a strip club, if you hate this place so much."

Gloria: "Whatever. Maury's on. I'll be back in an hour (approximately 3 months, Judge Parker time)."

Steve: "Ok, so you decked the bodyguard?"

Sam: "He had me in a chokehold! I had no choice."

Steve: "Not the chokehold! It's a good thing you got out of there; he usually transitions straight from the choke into his trademarked slam, the D'Vito Driver."

Sam: "And then when I got out of it, his manager came in and hit me with a steel chair while the ref's back was turned! Too bad, because I was just about to win the Intercontinental Championship Belt."

Steve: "Man, wish I could've been there to help. You could have used one of my prostheses as a foreign object, then covered for an easy three count."

Sam: "Oh, do you still have no legs? The fact that you're drawn normally and never mention them ever made me unsure."

Steve: "Yeah, that's why I keep handy leg-obscuring objects like this desk in front of me at all times. Really, I'm a little unhappy that you and Rocky Ledge get to run around beating people up while the only thing I get to do is dig through people's trash."

Sam: "Please. I am a sophisticated and classy lawyer who only uses violence as a last resort, unlike that country music-singing piece of street trash Rocky. My actions were in self-defense."

Steve: "Ok, just so I have this straight: Papparrazzi trespass onto your property, create a disturbance which endangers the life of Rocky's wife and causes her serious injury. When Rocky gets over there, he's mad, and punches one of them in the face."

Sam: "Completely unjustified attack. Luckily my sweet lawyerin' skills were able to keep him out of prison."

Steve: "Whereas you committed fraud by pretending to be an insurance agent so you could snoop around in a murder victim's widow's house and try to find evidence to set her up for the crime, only to be discovered, at which point her bodyguard attempted to forcibly remove you from her property when you punched him in the face..."

Sam: "Completely justified. Obviously self-defense."

Steve: "I'm not sure I understand."

Sam: "Being a rich, well-connected lawyer means never having to say you're sorry."

Steve: "Wait, what's that sound? I think that's Mrs. D'Vito's Bodyguard's music! He's not even supposed to be at this venue!"

Tomorrow: Sam Driver challenges the Bodyguard to a Cage Match... or Sam and Steve continue talking.

Also, if you like, I could give you the whole exciting and as yet unresolved plot of Country Music Sensation / Environmentally Friendly Factory Owner Rocky Ledge and his psychotic German Supermodel Wife with a million adopted orphans Godiva Danube, or I could just keep dropping bits of backstory as I see fit. The important thing is that Godiva has gigantic knockers.