The Groundswell of Excitement Continues

12/12/09




"So you stole evidence from a crime scene and thus made it impermissible in trial?"

"Well, the important thing is that we used rubber gloves! And baggies!"

"Why didn't you say so in the first place? That makes all the difference! By the way, do you still have that hot secretary? If we could get a gratuitous close-up of her sexy eyelashes and hooker rings, that might make this episode halfway interesting."

"Not a problem!"

Also, there's a Sunday Strip:



Since some papers don't carry the Sunday strip, they can't run anything important that they don't recap the next day, so you can actually skip the Sunday strip and not miss anything. Sort of like every other day in Judge Parker. However, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Sam's new strategy of wearing reading glasses and going through a stack of yellowish papers to make him look more legit as a lawyer. Also, I'd be severely remiss if I didn't mention ANDROGYNOUS COP PERSON in the penultimate panel.

Oh, and Sam has apparently already solved the case, based on one scuffle with a bodyguard and the "public records" Gloria downloaded off of TMZ.

And Today's exciting episode:



Sam: Gloria, make sure Lt. Yelich's stooge signs for this. If we're going to participate in this level of corruption, we're going to at least make sure to leave an extensive paper trail documenting all of our misdeeds.

Gloria: Right-o. I'll just lounge around sexily while I wait. Maybe I'll even search for more "public records" while I'm at it.

Steve: Hey, I was mostly in the room for the majority of your conversation last week about the widow D'Vito and her rasslin' bodyguard, but could you go over it again? If there's one thing our readers can't get enough of, it's lawyers recapping the same conversation repeatedly in their office.

Sam: No problemo. Maybe we can call Lt. Yelich and tell him we stole some evidence while we're at it!

Tomorrow: Sam and Steve continue talking.

On a Personal Level

Previously on Judge Parker...

Sam called the chief of police, found out that the gunpowder residue results were negative, coyingly led on that he has even more evidence in an ultra-manly "I know something you don't know!" way.

Now, I hate to make today's Judge all about me, but I relate very deeply to our troubled police guy in the third panel. One of my primary job duties is making sure everything on the unit is up to code. One day, while I was particularly unsuccessful at this part of my job, my supervisor, who jokes about relying on me to keep him out of trouble, invited me out for lunch. We went to McDonald's. When we got there, there were not only no close parking spots, but the two fake parking spots he invented in front were somehow taken too. Rather than just park a little ways away, he decided to park in a clearly marked No Parking Zone whle saying, "Maybe if I cover up those lines with my car, nobody will notice," at which point I officially gave up my quest to keep him out of trouble.

And so, I understand how Face-Palming Police Lieutenant Jim feels as Sam brazenly brags about interfering with a police investigation. Eventually you just have to roll with the incompetence.

More back story:

This story is about Frank D'vito's murder. D'vito was convicted of stealing his investor's money sort of exactly like Bernie Madoff. Judge Randy Parker threw him in jail with no bond, but an appeals judge overturned it and let him out on bond. While Randy and Sam were out at dinner, Henry Sarber introduced himself to them, told Randy he did the right thing because if D'vito were released, Henry would've killed him. Randy orders police protection on D'vito, but he apparently (This happened off panel) slipped away during the night and was murdered in the park, where police found Henry. Sam decided something was 'fishy' and decided he was defending Henry without Henry ever actually hiring him, but procedures like that just don't bother Sam too much. Sam suspected his widow, so he disguised himself as an insurance agent to get into her estate, had his cover blown, got into a fight with a professional wrestler, and then somehow decided that it wasn't the widow because she said she didn't do it, but would if she had the chance, maybe? I'm a little fuzzy on that part. The important thing is that the widow is a scantily clad blonde with big boobs.